Joke of the Day!!!

[Ultra_Stealth]

Man says to his wife "how about I cum in your ear?" The wife says "no, I might go deaf." The man then responds "I've been cumming in your mouth for 25 years & YOUR STILL FUCKING TALKING!!!!!"


:rollinglaugh: :rollinglaugh: :rollinglaugh: :D

[kevnmcd]

:rollinglaugh: :rollinglaugh: :rollinglaugh:

[jrgaudettes]

Good one....LOL

[NdaWind]

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office why you
are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and
sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's
Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room
full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I
love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the
desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor
for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this
room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your
ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in
private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full
strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out,
waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

[roln 20s]

Both of these have me LMAO :D

Great!!!

Roln 20s

[Havasu Dreamin]

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
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Full

[PUMP 'HER']

:puke:

[ybull]

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
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Full

Sounds like Pump-Her

[kevnmcd]

....Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

That is funny! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[just another payment]

those are all great

[just another payment]

A friend writes….



I bought a new Lexus 350 and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.



"Watch this!", he said, "Nelson!"



The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"



"Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.



Then he said, "Ray Charles!" and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.



I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.



Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "Ass Holes!"



Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.



Damn, I LOVE this car!

[Ultra_Stealth]

:rollinglaugh:

[PUMP 'HER']

Heard one similar to that one Bob, but some kids run out in front of him and he yells "focking kids!", and Michael Jackson comes on. :puke:

[just another payment]

Thats good

[just another payment]

This could happen to you.

While stopping at a roadside rest area, I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them,
"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions